Fully Known
One of the scariest parts, I think, of being alive is the fear of never being truly known. We want to be understood completely, but we hide away the parts of us that we don’t want others to see. The parts that are quick to judge, or anger, or ignore, or put things off, or indulge, or forget remain desperately tucked away. It gets heavy, and there’s a constant nagging fear of losing relationships if we slip up even a little bit. Like when company comes over and accidentally opens the overstuffed closet that I hastily shoved all my mess into 5 minutes before they arrived, worried that my friends might leave if (heaven forbid!) they know that sometimes there are dishes in the sink and laundry on the floor.
For me at least, shoving my less-desirable traits down and away only means that they have tendency to resurface when I’m not careful. And that my metaphorical messy bits never truly get better because I spend so much more time trying to hide them than heal them. It’s exhausting to constantly keep hiding the many, tiny broken pieces that I don’t like and keeping the better bits front and center.
Keeping Jeremiah 31:31-34 in mind for the past few weeks has given me a new gratitude for a God who sees every part of me- the good, bad, and ugly- and yet covenants to remain my unchanging God. Knowing that I can and will be forgiven takes the shame and fear out of making mistakes. We don’t have to hide anything away, it’s nothing God hasn’t seen before! Despite our tendency to break promises, stumble in wickedness, and get lost, God promises to take us by the hand and save us anyways. God doesn’t expect us to shove everything in the closet before He comes over. He has no problem meeting us in our mess and helping with the dishes.
This passage reminds us that we can unpack our sins gently and hold them out to our God who can heal them. Our God wants to be known by us, and knows us completely. If we search the deepest parts of us, we will find God’s laws written there. God’s ways are carved into our minds and hearts, beating against our ribs. This passage reminds me that perhaps we don’t need to maintain a perfect facade and live in fear that God or others might unearth the bad parts. Instead, we can feel confident knowing that God loves us in our imperfection and knows us fully. The more we know God, the less we have to hide.
Loving God, thank you that You know us and love us completely. Help us to know You, as we are fully known. Amen
Hannah Stevenson