Fill My Heart
I contemplate
The triumph of arrival,
Friendship and communion,
Betrayal,
A crowd of jeers,
A painful public death,
A burial.
Have you ever felt that you’ve arrived? Summited the mountain. Finished the lap. Met the goal and crossed it off the list. And then have you been met with an emptiness?
That emptiness is not always there for me. Sometimes, it's exhaustion at having crossed the finish line. But often that emptiness is a sign that my goal was somehow out of alignment with what the deepest part of my being urges me toward and aches for me to be. It's not lost on me that the closest I can come to understanding torture is checking items off a checklist, when we're talking about death by torture.
Christ’s torture is an event of humiliation and rejection. The passage contains so much dark irony and injustice in the context of a story of dark political manipulation that it can be hard to understand who is on which side. Christ’s death still burns with meaning because in spite of the forces against him, he lived a life of purpose, a life of kindness, humility, love and principle.
Blessed creator,
Help me to know and live the love you seek from me.
Help that love to fill my heart.
Help me to always seek compassion and humility and know that my perspective is incomplete without the viewpoints of others.
Help me act with principle and bravery.
Ryan Taylor